Review - Jumper
Warning: Spoilers ahead.
At age 15, Anakin Skywalker discovers that he can use the force create miniature wormholes to ‘jump’ to anywhere he’s ever seen or been. After discovering this useful little talent, he runs away from home and spends the next 8 years robbing banks, sleeping with women, and doing whatever he wants.
After his little 8 year joyride, Mace Windu, the leader of an elite team that specializes in killing Jedi Jumpers, tracks him down and tazes him, bro. Anakin barely escapes and runs home to find his high school sweetheart. They fly to Rome to have sex, and then go see the coliseum. While there, Anakin meets Nightcrawler, another Jumper who tracks down Sith Lords Paladins and kills them in a variety of amusing ways. At this point, Anakin’s girlfriend gets fed up with her trans-dimensional boyfriend and goes home. Anakin spends literally the rest of the movie whining about her, which is not uncommon for him. She gets taken captive by Windu, there are some fight scenes involving multiple continents and tanks, and Anakin proves that he is the chosen one by ‘jumping’ an entire apartment through a wormhole.
Some useless plot strings are tied up and the movie ends.
3/5. This movie had a of wasted potential.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Yeah, that’s too bad. I was looking forward to it.