I love my job
Two little gems from work this evening. Names have been changed to protect my job.
What they said:
Hi, I can’t get your stupid software to interface with MySQL. I’m really getting sick of this crappy product, please fix it immediately.
-Idiot user #1
What I said:
“Hi, I logged into your server and it turns out that you don’t have MySQL installed. Installing it should fix your error.”
-Alex
What they said:
Hi, I’m having massive problems with your software not displaying properly. Please fix ASAP. Also, this is a production server, so please don’t log in.
-Idiot user #2
What I said:
“Hi, I will need access to your server to diagnose this issue. Please let me know when I can log in.”
-Alex
What I wanted to say:
“Hi, I contacted your server via ToIP (telepathy over IP) and have determined the cause of your problem: You’re a fucking moron. I have revoked your Internet license and you are now trespassing. Please vacate the Internet immediately.”
-Alex
Tech support is fun.
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Sounds like fun, talking to stupid people all day.
Fun fun fun.
Seriously though, I loled. Yup, there was loling.